Meredith Jukkola

Fall, 2002

With Her Friends

≥The best way to really know me or understand me is to see me with my friends.≤

Bridget opens the door and politely invites me in with a bright and welcoming smile. ≥Here is our living room,≤ she points out. As she introduces the kitchen, sounds of feet down the staircase catch my attention.

≥Sheπs a clean freak,≤ I hear from the bottom of the stairwell.

≥And this is my roommate, Sara,≤ Bridget adds. ≥Remember, we have a Spanish paper due tomorrow,≤ she reminds her friend upon completion of the tour downstairs.

Bridget has been friends with Sara since freshman year in college. They lived next door to each other their first year at school, and have lived together in dorms and apartments ever since.

The three of us walk up the stairs and into Bridgetπs room, which will be the forum for their story-telling. First, Bridget begins with the basics: Communications major and Spanish minor, both of which were decided her junior year. Numerous pictures of beaches and palm trees adorn her room. ≥Iπm a big fan of themes,≤ Bridget explains.

Sara: ≥Yes you are!≤

I turn my attention to her bed and notice a small hunched-over figure strategically placed at the head of the bed. ≥This is Obo; Iπve had him since I was two. I canπt sleep without him,≤ Bridget continues to explain herself by saying, ≥Iπm used to having him around.≤

Sara picks up the love-worn stuffed clown and says, ≥Heπs creepy!≤

Bridget: ≥Heπs not creepy!≤

The stuffed figure Sara is holding is in the rough shape of a clown. His head is not proportionate to his body and there are Xs in place of his eyes. Sara places her finger in a hole on Oboπs neck. Bridget explains, ≥Thatπs where I operated on him (he was missing some stuffing). The ears on Saraπs bunny are half-attached. Iπll operate on him later.≤

Sara: ≥No you wonπt!≤

Bridget: ≥Well what are you gonna do with it?≤

Sara: ≥Iπm not gonna keep him forever! Iπd probably lose it.≤

Bridget: ≥Thatπs true; you do lose a lot of stuff.≤

Bridget continues with the usual background information about herself: ≥When I was a kid, I was always afraid that there was someone in my room.≤ Someone broke into her house when she was 5 while she and her parents were sleeping.

Sara looks up from the planner that had captured her attention before this story began. ≥You think you saw him??≤ Sara curiously exclaims. This part of the story she had never heard before.

As Bridget clarifies how long she lived in La Porte, Texas, her roommate interrupts with a quote from her planner she finds to be amusing. Bridget humors Sara by concurring: ≥That is funny.≤

A description of the neighborhood they live in is in progress when the phone rings from Saraπs room. She hops up to answer it, but continues adding her bit to the conversation on her way. Bridget continues to discuss the neighbor who ≥lassoes his kid≤ when she is interrupted by a loud burst of laughter. She rolls her eyes and laughs, explaining, ≥Sheπs talking to her mom.≤

* * *

Bridget: ≥After dinner, Sara promised me I could have an ice cream.≤

Sara: ≥Oh I forgot!≤

In the living room, there is an ≥outsider.≤ Another friend of Bridget and Saraπs is uneasy about the presence of the stranger recording their actions and voices. Together, both girls try to ease Leviπs uncomfortable sentiment: ≥Itπs alright, Levi.≤ Bridget explains, ≥The best way to really know me or understand me is to see me with my friends. Iπm probably much more myself whenever yπall are here than if I was just talking to her. If I started acting weird now, yπall could call me on it.≤

Levi stands up and walks away from the tape recorder. At this point, the couches and chairs are situated in a circle, around the perimeter of the room and all four of us are facing each other.

≥Iπm really interested to read what someone writes about Sara because it would be interesting to see what someone who doesnπt know her like I do thinks of her after a couple of weekends as opposed to what I think of her,≤ Bridget says.

≥Bridget is my planner,≤ says Sara. ≥Anytime I have something due I always ask, åWhen was I supposed to do that?π≤

Bridget: ≥I keep track of everything thatπs due and when stuff is supposed to be doneä≤

Sara: ≥Itπs very helpfulä≤

Bridget: ≥Even stuff like when she tells me, åItπs my sisterπs birthday next week,

remind meπ, Iπll remind her: ≥Itπs your sisterπs birthday this weekäπ≤

Sara: ≥Sheπs good at that!≤

Bridget: ≥And Sara makes decisions for me which is goodä≤

Sara: ≥She is the worst decision-maker!≤

Feeling more comfortable with his surroundings, Levi cuts in with news about a mutual friend. This spawns a series of stories, leading to a long-lasting discussion among the group. One in particular involves notable enthusiasm.

Bridget gets up from her chair and uses hand gestures to better illustrate her story. Her voice gets louder as she vents: ≥Kristen is a bitch; she knows sheπs a shitty friend.≤ She complains that her best friend from high school has only come to visit her a couple of times, mainly to ensure a resting spot in the middle of her trips to see her boyfriend.

Bridget expounds: ≥Hereπs my whole thing: I donπt think thereπs anything wrong with having a boyfriend or being in love or loving someone. Itπs like, youπre my best friend and I love you, and I donπt mind if a boy is at that same level, but itπs completely different to say åIπve known you for so many years, youπve been my best friend, but now heπs way above you.π Because hereπs the thing: whoπs been there and who will be there no matter what happens with the guy?≤

At this point, the conversation turns from Bridget venting to the group analyzing the situation of their friend. As Sara says, ≥Kristen needs a guy to complete her life,≤ Bridget stands behind her and points back at the speaker. ≥I hate you,≤ Sara jokingly replies, ≥I hate you more than guys.≤

A soft ring from Leviπs cell phone breaks the intense conversation. Bridget sits down and Sara takes a sip of her drink. A moment of silence prompts Sara to reach for a photo album under the coffee table. ≥Maggie, our other roommate, did this,≤ Sara says.

≥That is a chronology of our time together since freshman year,≤ explains Bridget.

They both go through the album together with me and explain the pictures. The pictures are of joint birthday parties and trips. Each picture resembles its neighbor or the series on the next page. From one party to the next, one crazy thing to the other, one year to the next, they are all pictures of the same people together. A knock at the door suspends the reminiscing. In walks their discouraged friend, Julie, who has come to seek in her friends refuge from her bad day.

Sara gets up to fix Julie a drink as Bridget questions her about the cause of her distressed mood. Julieπs ex-boyfriend has failed yet again to live up to a promise. As Sara hands her friend the drink, she sits down and the three of them explain this event as a contribution to the perpetual drama that surrounds the group.

Bridget: ≥You know how they say thereπs an elephant in the room? Well thatπs our lives.≤

Sara: ≥We live the elephant in the room.≤

Bridget: ≥Yeah we do. Sometimes we talk about good things; we donπt always talk about bad things.≤

Sara: ≥Letπs talk about good things.≤

The third roommate, Maggie, comes through the front door. ≥Hey, youπre back,≤ they say in scattered voices.

As she makes her way through the hallway and into the living room, she says, ≥You gotta hear my storyä≤ She sits down in an empty seat, next to Levi, who has finally rejoined the group in the circle. All listen carefully and attentively as she tells them about a cute police officer who helped her change her flat tire.

* * *

Julie: ≥One time I came home in the middle of the night, upset about something. Bridget woke up and talked with me about what was bothering me.≤

Sara: ≥I love Bridget.≤

Bridget: ≥Well Iπm glad that you like me; I like you too.≤

Levi: ≥I think sheπs the coolest person. Every time Iπve ever had anything to say, sheπs always there. Youπre a good listener and you have that optimistic outlook on life.≤

Maggie: ≥I like Bridget because she watches scary movies with me.≤

Sara: ≥I like that Bridget is willing to have fun at any moment in her life and thatπs what I need: somebody to have fun with me at any moment in my life. I donπt know if I can put a finger on what I like about you, but I like you. I like your outlook on life and I really really like the fact that you are damn funny.≤

Afterward

I came into the interview with a clear slate. I didnπt want there to be structured questions; I wanted to find out for myself by simply talking to her as a friend what would paint the most accurate picture of Bridget. The central characteristic was clear from the very beginning: Bridgetπs relationship with her friends represents so much of who she is. The way she interacts with them, and their perceptions of her seem to be the truest description of her. All of the friends are very close; they finish each other. They all know each other so well. Each person didnπt have to even think of what it was they liked about Bridget.

The central factor developing the narrative about Bridget is the dialogue between Bridget and her friends, particularly her roommate, Sara. As I recorded their interactions, I was a fly on the wall, or a viewer of a movie. What I was seeing and hearing was from behind a one-way pane of glass. So much truth is found in not only the quotes themselves, but in the manner that those quotes were presented. For example, Bridgetπs casual attitude toward the frequent interruptions by her roommate and her responses to them epitomize the central theme of this article.

As I walked to class with the first draft of this article in my hand, the thoughts circulating in my head were worried ones. Did this meet the requirement of the profile? It did not match the narrative examples shown on the web site. Was the incorporation of quoted scenes too strong a component of the interview? After revision and feedback, however, I found that this profile was just a unique approach to the article. Similar to Jeanne Marie Laskasπ ≥Each Otherπs Mirror≤ from Intimate Journalism, the narrative was built through the ≥bantering≤.