Cecilia Guevara

Journalism

Professor Bednar

Fall 2001

Err! Err! Err! Err! It is 8:45 in the morning. The black mechanical clock with huge red numbers commands Robert to get up and start his day. After hitting snooze three times, Robert wakes up and it is now 9:15. Stumbling out of bed, groggily rubbing his eyes, he heads straight to the restroom, turns on the water to take his first shower of the day, brushes his teeth, then jumps in the shower. This is an act that has become a ritual for the twenty-year-old. After his shower, he heads back to his room.

I sit on his bed as he revises his clothes in the closet. Khakis, polo-style shirts, an array of t-shirts, and jeans compose his wardrobe. The amount of sleep from the night before and the day of the week will determine what he will wear. Today is a Wednesday; he has to go to school, lab, and work. On Wednesdays, Robert does not have to follow the dress code at work: khakis with a nice dress shirt tucked in. This rule and the prohibition of earrings apply only to the males. This minor detail may be insignificant to others, but not to Robert, who wants equality. He plans on speaking with his supervisor on the matter. "A girl comes in wearing the same attire as me but I have to follow certain rules because of the different standards of business casual for both men and women. It's the same dress, the rule applies to a certain gender."

He mechanically pulls out the ironing board, connects the iron, lets the iron heat, and begins ironing a pair of dark blue Gap jeans. As the heat of the iron works its magic on the wrinkles, leaving the jeans perfectly straight and smooth, Robert inspects each jean leg one more time making sure the jeans are without a single wrinkle. "I hate to iron", he tells me-so if I have to do it, I want to do it right the first time. So that way I won't have to do it again." Although he claims to detest ironing, he is very picky and says even that when his girlfriend irons for him, he has to go over the clothes one more time to get it just right.

The sun is shining in through the white, vertical blinds. His comforter is a beige color with a pattern of small flowers running vertically across it. The wall behind me holds a lonely picture of his girlfriend at prom, a calendar with bill due dates, and both his and his girlfriend's school schedule. Pictures of an `87 Chevrolet El Camino and a `79 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme draped with half-naked female models taken from his favorite magazine, Lowrider, adorn the wall across from the bed. Next to the Rides sits a large poster of SPM and other Hispanic rap artists.

Below the posters, on top of his two dresser drawers that keep his undershirts and other underclothes, rest several items not necessarily relevant to each other: Polo Sport cologne, an ashtray from Mexico, a framed picture of his girlfriend, a candle, and anything that has no specific place but may be important. The hissing of steam from the iron turns my attention towards Robert. One more pressing of the left leg and the wrinkle-free jeans earn his approval. After dressing, he heads for the restroom, shaves, runs his fingers with gel through his hair, washes his hands, and proceeds back to his room for the last time. After putting on his watch and a matching necklace to compliment his sweater, he grabs his wallet, car keys, and Marlboro Menthol Lights. He looks one last time in the long vertical mirror and heads out. It is 9:45.

I noticed it only takes him half an hour to get ready; he claims it takes his girlfriend twice that time due to her hair and makeup. Being a male makes certain things easier and faster, such as getting ready to go out. By assuming that it takes his girlfriend longer to get ready due to activities associated with femininity, such as makeup and hair, gender has taken its course. Even Robert, who is conscious of gender roles, falls into categorizing individuals. Gender roles are so omnipresent in our society that we find it hard to believe that they are constantly created and recreated out of human interaction and social life. Gender signs are so ubiquitous and may go unnoticed unless a man or woman acts out of role.

Once a child's gender is evident, society adjusts and treats that child according to its gender, therefore shaping its behavior according to Judith Lorber, author of "Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender." Parenting is also gendered with different expectations for the mother and the father. The workplace is another gendered institution, where different genders get different jobs. Lorber states that these experiences produce an array of feelings and ways of being which are labeled feminine or masculine. Gender is so important in our society because it is one of the ways human beings organize their lives.

It is 10 o'clock. Robert, the only Hispanic—the only minority for that matter--is sitting alone at a table in his Survey of the New Testament class at Tyler Junior College (TJC) located in Tyler, Texas. He is categorized in class due to his race, not verbally, but physically. The only time the other students interact with him is when the teacher arranges group activities, which in a way Robert feels the professor started because of him. The first few days of class, the professor completely skipped his name. When the Catholic religion was being discussed, Robert felt several pairs of eyes fall onto his skin: everyone automatically assumed that, because he was Hispanic, he must also be Catholic.

It is 11 o'clock. Robert is one of the two Hispanic males in his Public Speaking class. The other guy seems to always be in competition with Robert, trying to prove he is smarter and a better speaker. Robert dismisses the competition stating, "instead of competing, we should help each other out." Chuck, another fellow classmate, assumes gender roles when speaking to Robert or even in his speeches. "When Chuck tells me a story, he does not give vivid details or examples," Robert stated. "When speaking to girls, he gives specific examples so that the girls can fully understand. I noticed this in a speech he gave on how to change oil. He specifically pointed out the girls in our class, encouraging them to pay attention since they didn't know how to change oil, or so he assumed."

Leaving class and encountering a group of predominantly Hispanic friends, he is greeted loudly with high fives by the boys and softly with smiles by the girls. The way he is approached differs depending on the gender of the person.

School is one of the places society institutionalizes gender. Boys grow up following a script of rules that implement behaviors: "be cool, don't show emotion, repress feelings, be aggressive, compete and win" (Sadker and Sadker 318). As the script is internalized, boys learn to distance and reject anything that is feminine. Not expressing feelings, trained to be aggressive, and trying to always have control may be masculine qualities yet can lead to adverse consequences in men and minorities. From elementary through high school, boys receive lower report card grades; by middle school, they are far more likely to have repeated grades or dropped out. The majority of students for special education programs are boys. They represent 71 percent of the learning disabled, 58 percent of the mentally retarded, and 80 percent of those in programs for the emotionally disturbed (Sadker and Sadker 318).

Perpetuating gender roles can have an effect on academics as well as psychological implications. Boys are 50 percent more likely to use illegal drugs and three times more likely to become alcohol dependent. Further, males commit suicide two to three times more frequently than females (Sadker and Sadker 318).

The chime of the clock at TJC announces that it is now noon. I have lunch with Robert at CiCi's; during our meal I realize that Robert is aware of his race and culture wherever he goes. As we sit at a square gray table with a blue border, I observe his attitude, speech, and looks towards others, whether male or female, white or minority. His eyes skim the employees wearing red shirts proudly claiming CiCi's logo. "Look at that" he tells me. "All the people in the kitchen are Hispanic. The cooks, the waiters, all of them Hispanic. If it weren't for them this place wouldn't be running. But does society acknowledge that? No. Instead, it chooses to give recognition to the white owner who started the business." I look up from my four slices of colorful Mexican pizza and realize the validity of his statement. The only non-minority is the cashier, the one who greets the customers. The rest of the crew is silent, never interacting with customers, an overlooked part of the background amidst the large, silver pizza ovens.

The restaurant has expanded since the last time I ate here. Robert pushes his metal chair back, announcing he is going for seconds. As he passes an exuberant child racing for a particular videogame, I notice his neutrality towards the few people he approaches; he shows no difference of emotion towards the people he comes into contact with, whether customer or employee. He returns with a couple of slices of pepperoni pizza carelessly stacked on top of other pizza slices.

Although being a Hispanic is somewhat of a disadvantage in the white world, in the Hispanic world, being a male is an advantage. Cherrie Moraga states that Hispanic women are taught that their duty is to "put the male first" (Moraga 206). Gender roles are enforced through both the men and the women beginning with the mother. The mother may believe that through her mothering she can develop the type of man she would have liked to marry or sees her son as a means of getting a small taste of male privilege since she has no race or class privilege if poor. What is true for "the man" is also true for the Hispanic man. He like any other man wants to be able to determine "how, when, and with whom his women—mother, wife, and daughter—are sexual…Male imposed social and legal control of the women's reproductive function, reinforced by the Catholic Church, and the social institutionalization of gender roles as sexual and domestic servants to men" lead to domination over women (Moraga 209). Manhood is an invisible asset just like white privilege. Although a man may be oppressed due to his race, his masculinity is a tool of dominance in the larger social context.

I finish my last bite of salad and relax into the black round chair. Robert reveals he is finally full by letting out a long sigh. We both get up simultaneously and walk towards the glass doors, each of us opening our own door. We take a right on Loop 323 as we leave the parking lot then a left onto Paluxy, the road where his apartment complex West Chase is located. We arrive at the complex, walk up the stairs holding on to the green rail, and enter apartment 265. It is 1:30 in the afternoon.

Robert sits on the smaller of the two gray couches that are separated by a glass table. With every move of his thumb, a new scene appears on the television. He decides on MTV; an array of girls in bikinis appears on the screen--just another music video. He lifts the remote to the level of the television, using it as a pointer. "Look at that. Thin, smooth skin, healthy hair, no wrinkles, no blemishes. That's supposed to be beauty, or so the media tells us." I turn my attention towards him. I realize he is not only aware of his gender and race but of all the other institutionalized beliefs that society conditions us to partake in.

We both have things to do, people to see; after all, it is Thanksgiving break. At 5 o'clock, he heads to work at Telequest Teleservices, where he is a telemarketer. In his section, Robert is the only Hispanic male among a ratio of one male to four females and part of the thirty percent of employees not African American. More than at school or anywhere else, it is at his work, Telequest, that Robert carries the burden of his race.

"One day" he recalls, "I went in early to get a step ahead on my hours. Greg, my supervisor, came over and began telling me how he wants his son to learn how to speak Spanish and advises everyone else to do the same." Upon hearing this, Reggie, another fellow employee, uttered a "hell no," disagreeing with the concept of having to speak Spanish in his country where English is the first language. The Wall Street Journal's front page that day featured George W. Bush and Vicente Fox's plans to make the United States and Mexican border safer. The frustration is evident in Robert's tone of voice as he recalls the story. "Reggie's argument was that basically we are coming over here to make money in the States to then return to Mexico and buy shit for cheaper." The disturbance in his voice mounts as he begins using wider movements with his arms to help express his emotions more than his statement.

"My family came over here as illegal immigrants for survival and to give us an education, not to fuck over the system and be bums," Robert's voice heightens. "We do the jobs that others don't want to do--mowing lawns, construction, working in the fields, any hard labor--because we don't have the means of communicating due to the language barrier and lack of education. Our options are limited." A look of disappointment sweeps through his rounded face and sorrow fills his dark brown eyes. "Ignorance. That's all it is. Accepting things for what you have been told they are. Never questioning, never looking outside the box. How many people are actually able to go back to their country and then try to reenter again?…Ignorance."

These kinds of comments are part of his everyday experiences at work. Instead of insulting or categorizing as is done to him, he chooses to promote awareness. During National Hispanic Month, he made it a point to let others know of the meaning of the month. The responses he received were laughter, "so?" and "and?." The sadness in his eyes and the melancholy in his voice reflect his pain. "Just because of my skin color people assign so many other things on me—immigrant, Spanish-speaker, Mexican, from a large family, on welfare, the list goes on and on." He gets quiet.

Six hours later, he is out of work, out of a building in which societal conditioning manifests. The discriminating remarks that were stated earlier permeate through the air as he walks down the cold cement stairs facing the somewhat lit parking lot and proceeds towards his car. It is 11 o'clock.

After climbing the stairs and unlocking the door, Robert takes a right, heading towards the black phone resting on the handset. He checks his messages, the caller ID, and any mail left on the golden-brown dining table that looks to have once been used as an ashtray due to all its imprinted cigarette burns. His tired legs carry him to the small couch in the living room and the television comes on once more. Robert calls his girlfriend, and after exchanging a summary of the day, among other things, he presses the talk button, terminating the conversation. He gets up from the couch and heads towards his bathroom. It is midnight.

The knobs of the shower are slowly turned and adjusted to the right temperature. After a long shower, his second one today, which he genuinely enjoys, he cleans his ears with blue Q-tips and brushes his teeth. Naturally, he returns to his room. Lying down atop the beige comforter, he skims the Lowrider Magazine before setting the alarm clock for 8:45 a.m., and falls asleep.

It is 12:30. Another day of assumptions due to Robert's gender and race. A blanket of stars covers the sky. Several hours later…

Err! Err! Err! Err!

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Author's Afterward

When I started to write this article, I began by focusing on societal conditioning in general. However, so many issues fell under this mass topic that I had to focus on specific areas. I decided gender and race would be the two areas I would write about. I initially began my research by interviewing Kim, a friend of a personal friend. Although I could concentrate on race since Kim is half Korean, half Mexican, and half American, she is of the same gender as me, causing conflict. Nevertheless, I turned my attention towards Robert, a Mexican-American twenty-year-old male.

Through this project I feel like I got a good insight into the everyday life of a male. Following Robert around day in and day out, at first was overwhelming; yet, after being a part of his everyday routines, I learned to pick up on minute details. I learned to read Robert and his responses through his facial expressions and bodily movements. Although awkward at first, Robert slowly began thinking out loud for me. To understand his awareness and present it in my paper, I asked him to speak every thought that pertained to the way society treated him due to his gender and race. After days of following him around, this came naturally to him. If we were watching television together, he would speak his mind without censoring anything. Eventually I felt like another part of Robert's life that he interpreted in his own ways.

After completing the actual interviewing, I researched articles of the construction of gender and race so that I could do justice to Robert's story. The statistics and quotes by the authors that I inserted were used more as supporting evidence of the reality of societal conditioning.

Compared to the other articles I have written, I feel this piece was more like an educational tool for both the readers and me. I learned so much about myself and my own institutionalized beliefs by observing Robert's life. By pointing out everyday, minor instances in Robert's life, I wanted to make the readers aware of situations that s/he may find themselves in regularly without stopping to think twice of the situation. Giving societal conditioning a human face through Robert's story caused me to look at the institutionalized beliefs in my life and question their origin.