Jennifer Johnson

Bednar

Journalism

6-27-01

"Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know but need to know. Learn from them." Words of Wisdom from H. Jackson Brown’s Mom

"In the deeps are the violence and terror of which psychology has warned us. But if you ride these monsters deeper down, if you drop with them farther over the world’s rim, you find what our sciences cannot locate or name, the substrate, the ocean or matrix or either which buoys the rest, which gives goodness its power for good, and evil its power for evil, the unified field: our complex and inexplicable caring for each other, and for our life together here. This is given. It is not learned." A. Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk

"Life is what happens while you’re making other plans." John Lennon (One of Marianne’s favorite quotes)

She does not want to sit inside. Instead, she chooses a wooden bench for us to share under a couple of nice shade trees. She takes off her sandals, places them on the ground beside her backpack, and sits sideways on the bench, looking directly at me. She makes me feel comfortable. Her warm smile and smoky brown eyes are inviting. She opens up freely. Already we’re talking, before the "interview" has really begun.

I have come prepared, sort of. Nervously, I had jotted down about ten questions before this original meeting. I worried that we would find ourselves stuck in an awkward silence and my lack of sharpened interviewing skills would become painfully apparent. But I had no need to worry. We just talked. It was nice. I eventually realized that it would be a good idea to write some of the conversation down. Soon, I found that I wanted to know more and more about her. To not waste the work I had done before the interview, I feebly tried to ask a question from my list, which she kindly answered. But then we went back to just talking.

Marianne is no stranger to distance. Last December, her father’s job relocated her family--mother, father, and 12-year-old brother, Alex--to Singapore. Her dad, who works in a small computer company called FSI making silicone chips, actually grew up in Singapore. Her preteen brother recently got a phone installed in his room, so that he can talk to his big sister. She keeps in touch with her loved ones by using today’s technological luxuries like the telephone and computer. It’s not so bad. She and her boyfriend, Drew, will get to visit Singapore this Christmas.

Even Drew is not close at hand. Her wonderful boyfriend attends Texas Tech in Lubbock. Right now they practice the typical college long distance relationship. They make it work. Phone calls are great. The drive is six hours, but love can build a bridge, and they remain very close. She predicts that "there will be a time when we’re together a lot." She anticipates living oversees, as Drew will work in the communications end of the Army. They could be stationed anywhere. Where would be nice? Italy, maybe. What will they do when they are alone in a foreign country, away from the safe, familiar USA and their family? I have no doubt; they’ll figure it out. She knows how to make distances seem small.

A big portion of her large Italian Catholic family lives in Louisiana. Though many of her loved ones are far away, she does not appear to be lonely. I am sure loneliness sets in for her, however, as it does for most of the rest of us. People surround her at Southwestern University. Her roommate and her sorority sisters have been wonderful friends, providing a family and home. She appears to feel confident that where she is now is where she is supposed to be, though it is likely that she occasionally wishes she were closer to the other people she loves. She seems happy. Perhaps she is because she knows that being far apart is not a measurement of miles. And she knows how to keep those she loves close by.

As a freshman at the University of Texas, she learned a lot about being alone. She began her college years in the enormous Jester dorm with her friend from high school. Quickly, her friend found a boyfriend and practically moved out of their half of the dorm suite. Her suite mates wouldn’t talk to her, and she only saw her RA once when she moved in and once when she moved out. The gigantic dorm opened up to an even larger university. This experience was a far cry from the tiny Southwestern University bubble that she would find the next year after she transferred. At least two wonderful things came out of the year at UT. She said that she grew up a lot that year in being by herself, and she met Drew.

Marianne has also encountered another kind of loneliness and distance. Recently, she discovered that she had suffered significant hearing loss due to a childhood trauma. She now wears expensive hearing aids, and can hear sounds that she never knew were there. Where there once was silence, she now experiences sounds that others take for granted. When people tend to feel sorry for her or attach a stigma to her because she wears hearing aids, she does not let people be standoffish, get uncomfortable, or feel pity. She has a good attitude about it. She even lets people try on her hearing aids so that they can understand what it sounds like to hear what she hears. She has taken this apparent loss and turned it around. She ignores her own insecurities and reaches out to educate the hearing world.

Marianne bridges the gap between the hearing world and the deaf world. Her own experiences have enabled her to witness firsthand both the sensation of hearing and the loss of hearing. She has attempted to bring ASL (American Sign Language) to SU as a foreign language. She worries that she may not be the right person to advocate an ASL addition to the foreign language department at this university. Perhaps someone who is deaf would do a better job of "fighting the battle." But she possesses the passion, the drive, and the work ethic to get it done. Because she bridges the gap between those who know what it is like to hear and those who do not know what that is like, perhaps she holds the key of knowledge, education, understanding, and compassion.

Strangely enough, Marianne has always wanted to be a teacher for the deaf. Beginning in elementary school, her idol was Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller’s teacher. This woman, as Marianne puts it, was "an interpreter to the world." As a communications major at SU, what better way to attain this goal than to learn the art of communication? Her major, along with her background in education and her continuous study of the deaf culture, put her in the right position for reaching deaf children and educating the hearing world.

Another rather odd coincidence about Marianne, is that her beloved Godchild, Allison, is deaf. For whatever reason, their lives were placed together. It seems that Marianne recognizes her responsibility to this special little girl. I sense that Marianne feels that this is yet another indication of her life’s purpose and direction. She may be an important link in this specific little girl’s life.

In our conversation, we comment on our age and how life goes by so quickly. We cannot believe that we are making plans for the future, that we are at an age of seriously falling in love, and that we have already completed certain levels and stages in life. Marianne does not seem to pretend to know exactly what the future holds, but she appears confident in what lies ahead. The future is in the distance, and she knows how to make distances smaller.

So, I hope in some small way, I have done her justice. For that is what she is good at. Her mother and David Olson, a professor here at SU, want her to go to law school and become a lawyer. They think that she should fight for the needs of deaf individuals and their community. In such a capacity, she will bring justice to a community that has otherwise been overlooked in our country. She may or may not follow this path, but she is already bringing justice to individuals. She insists upon recognizing the wholeness and completeness of every person. She embraces their differences instead of overlooking them. She insists upon respecting each individual. Marianne bridges the gap between ignorance and knowledge. She makes distances shorter, and makes conversations flow. She brings comfort and understanding. And she says things that make people listen. As her Godchild stated, "I can talk to ANYONE, not just people with ears." So can Marianne. It does not matter if people listen with perfect hearing. People hear Marianne with their heart.

Afterward:

I was terrified to interview Marianne. I did not know what questions I would ask. I worried that she would not want to answer or reveal anything. But honestly, somehow everything just flowed. From sitting down and talking with her, to gathering my notes, to sitting down and writing the paper, everything ran smoothly.

I just remembered that she was a person that had a story to tell. I believe each person is interesting and unique, so I am always trying to find what resides behind the person that everyone sees. I had to put myself in the interview, because I knew that what I told about Marianne was only my interpretation of her. I had to show what I saw in her.

This paper and the class have inspired me to really look at people. I don’t think that I am the only one that holds this passion to make connections with people. When I think of each person as simply someone trying to make sense of life, I don’t feel so terrified to ask questions. There is always a way to find a link between people, and the gaps that lie between us can be bridged.