People say to me, "Bob-o, what do you want to do after graduation? What do you want to do with your life?"

"I want to be an entertainer. I want to sing songs, tell jokes, maybe even act. I just want to make people happy. I want to go out there an allow people to leave a performance of mine feeling the way I always feel leaving a concert, club, or theater." All of these thoughts race through my mind and I fill with joy and excitement, along with my fair share of trepidation. People tend to look at you funny when you are honest about a "pipe dream" such as mine, so I sheepishly mumble something about my Communication major and Theatre minor and how excited I am to be gearing up for my future as a waiter.

* * * * *

So I asked Sara Gray, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I was instantly put to ease by her reaction and response.

"A journalist probably–a music journalist." she proclaimed, without a moment’s hesitation. She then got embarrassed and said, "It’s silly, I know."

I was, of course, obliged to put at ease her fears about my how I would respond to her. I was not here to frown at her and poo-poo her dreams the way that many adults might. I encouraged her to elaborate.

"Well, you know it’s a pretty wanky profession anyway."

Uncertain what she meant, I asked, "Wanky?"

She replied, "You know, self-indulgent, mentally masturbatory," and we were able to continue.

"And besides, EVERYBODY loves music. It’s not just me, so I feel like I am being pretentious by wanting to do this thing that is so desired by so many people."

* * * * *

When I first walked into Sara’s Lord Center living room, I noticed the amazingly sparse furniture arrangement with a lone papysan chair and barstool, complimented nicely by the old footlocker that serves as a TV stand. ("Well, I knew I wouldn’t need that much for just me over the summer.") I also observed that every wall had some music paraphernalia: Radiohead posters on opposite walls, a Tori Amos poster or two, an autographed picture of Tori, a giant REM poster from the "Monster" tour in 1995, and a framed piece of paper hanging by itself next to the window.

Sara had told me that she had more REM posters, but her roommate didn’t like the band, so she was asked to take two of them down. I asked about the spaces where two REM posters once hung, and Sara said she didn’t feel any desire to put them back up in her own bedroom after her roommate had requested they be removed from the living room. She was happy enough with the rest of her decorations, and she really liked the Monster poster.

There was also a wonderful Elvis clock above the television, with his hips swaying in time with the seconds. I asked about her feelings on Elvis, to which she replied, "I dunno, I got it as a gift. I don’t own any of his stuff. My friend gave it to me this Christmas. He knew I was a music fanatic, so he bought it for me."

* * * * *

Sara started high school as a newbie Beatles fan. "After they released the Anthology, a whole new following developed for the Beatles. I was one of those kids."

Around this same time, an article asked musicians to talk about the way the Beatles had influenced them. Sara told me, "The interview got to Michael Stipe, and he said something to the effect of, ‘They’re not much more than elevator music to me.’ After that I just thought he was this big bitch, and I wouldn’t even waste my time with him or his music."

When she was a freshman, Sara made a friendship with Sarah, a girl one year ahead in school, who also liked the Beatles. Sarah interacted with people differently than Sara had in the past. "I was more of a one-on-one kind of person. I didn’t really hang out in groups, but Sarah did nothing but hang out with groups. I would call her up and invite her over to watch a movie or something and she would say, ‘Ok, but can I bring this person and this person and this person?’"

The two girls started spending time together, alone and in groups. Sara would join Sarah at her Lutheran church on special holidays like the Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve for lock-ins. Sara, a self-proclaimed photo addict, has two 3-ring binder scrapbooks full of pictures and articles that she has created.

One of the scrapbooks was pulled from the shelf. "This picture is of some of the people at the New Year’s lock-in. See, in this picture we’re playing cards, dancing there…hmmm, I’m not really sure exactly WHY everyone’s screaming in this picture, but they are."

During lock-ins and during their time hanging out, Sarah would play DJ for her new friend. "Sarah would just sit there and play me song after song after song. It wasn’t really stuff that I personally listened to or liked, stuff like Ben Folds Five and Counting Crows, but I appreciated the fact that she wanted to share that with me."

Through their mutual interest in the Beatles, the girls were able to find new music to listen to together. "I really showed her Tori. I gave her Tori and she gave me Radiohead, which led me other places in music. We would listen to these musicians, and they would say, ‘Well, we really like so-and-so,’ and we would check them out.

"Radiohead is one of those bands that are fairly angst-y. It’s perfect for teenagers, because you’ll sit there and their music will either be really cathartic, or you’ll just sit there and cry. I didn’t like Radiohead at first. They just didn’t grab me. But when Sarah left for college, I was pretty upset and missed her a whole lot, so I picked up OK, Computer and fell in love with it. ‘No Surprises’ was a wonderful song, and I latched onto that one.

"I ended up really liking Radiohead and what they did musically. Tom York has one of those voices I would follow gleefully into hell and still be happy. When he kept saying, ‘REM was a huge influence to us,’ I was interested. When Radiohead took the opportunity to open for REM, I figured something had to be there, so I checked REM out."

It was toward the middle of Sara’s senior year in high school when she discovered REM’s inner beauty, but the wait was obviously worth it. "About May I bought all of their albums. I really like their older stuff, and a good portion of their new stuff. My least favorite album is probably Document, you know, with ‘End of the World’ and ‘To the One I Love.’ I saw their Behind the Music, and I was really blown away with the things they had to say. I liked their integrity as a band.

"Peter Buck is great because he is absolutely no bullshit. He accepts the fact that they are this little pop band and they still just play their music and don’t take anything from anybody. They try to make the world better in their own little way.

"I fell in love with Michael Stipe. The video for ‘Lotus’ is really sexy. Sarah and I had a mad crush on him for a while.

In January, the band announced a large tour for the coming summer. The Sara(h)s decided that they had to go. They began preparing for an August excursion to San Antonio, Texas.

* * * * *

The REM section of one scrapbook begins with a green flier listing every date on the 1999 tour. The first line written to each and every reader is as follows: "The fact that you are a Fan Club member in good standing as of February 8, 1999 qualifies you to purchase one or two premium tickets to attend one show of your choice from the tour dates listed."

"Yeah, I’m in the fan club," Sara told me. "I know it’s dorky, but whatever." Sara mailed off for tickets that came back in a package with two tickets, two orange wristbands, and instructions telling them that they had to be in line by four o’clock, the designated time for fan club member entry.

They pulled into San Antonio just after noon. The first pictures commemorating the event weren’t even from close to the venue. One was from inside the car, a picture of a sign saying "Retama Park" and the other was a long shot of a stage from about 1,000 yards away. "We almost missed the exit and got kinda lost, and we were so excited once we got there that I had to get out and take a picture."

When the girls pulled up, the sweltering San Antonio heat and humidity was in full force. They spied about ten people scattered underneath trees and wandered toward them. They immediately began befriending the REM fans near them, meeting Kathy from Victoria and Erin from San Antonio. The four hit it off well, and there are several pictures in the scrapbook of them goofing of and laughing with the roadies. "We were all laughing and having fun, even though it was very buggy. You had flies and bees attacking you if you stood up, but ants if you sat down."

Next there were pictures from an amazing angle: since they were there so early, the girls were rewarded with front row seats, almost dead center. Kathy and Erin were right in front, allowing them some better pictures with their digital camera, but the Sara(h)s were slightly offset to the right of the stage. During the two opening bands, the girls chatted with the roadies and security guards there to keep the fans from storming the stage. "They liked Mercury Rev alright because the band sounded a lot like Pink Floyd, and they thought that was cool. But then all those guys did was make fun of Wilco."

* * * * *

"I was worried at first about dying of heat stroke, but right after Wilco, I started worrying about being tornadoed to death. It was like we weren’t even at Retama anymore. The winds really kicked up and the roadies were running around like crazy trying to batten everything down."

The band had hung hundreds of different light designs behind them, and they had begun swaying violently in the wind that had rolled into Retama with a group of large thunderheads. "It was really worrisome, because I thought we were going to get rained on during this concert.

"It was weird though, all of a sudden it all went away."

* * * * *

The first picture of REM was a dark shot of bassist Mike Mills, his arms outstretched in exaltation, basking in the glow of thousands of adoring fans. The energy of the concert was evident immediately, and as the focus of the pictures shifted to Michael Stipe, the thousands of light came up in the background. Stipe had on a long-sleeved shirt, and stood next to a music stand containing all of his lyrics, just in case.

"They opened with ‘Lotus.’ It’s on Up, and I really like it because it is the only really rocking song on that album. Afterwards, he crumpled up the sheet and threw it off the stage. It’s hanging in that frame right there beside the window."

I looked at the sheet of paper, and, sure enough, the word "lotus" was written along the top. The lyrics are fairly jumbled to just read them, but the chorus sticks out: "so happy to show us/I ate the lotus/so haven’t you noticed?/I ate the lotus." As a smile spread across her face, Sara told me, "Yeah, I really like the message of that chorus, it’s like ‘Haven’t you noticed? I changed and I’m a badass!’ That was great. I really appreciate Michael Stipe’s honesty, you know? He just has this fuck you attitude about his own sexuality and the sexuality of others. I mean, he’s openly gay, but he never talks about that because it doesn’t have to be an issue in his mind. I think that is really cool."

As Michael Stipe performed, he started removing layers of clothes. When he got to the third and final shirt on his body, Sara had her true brush with fame. "I yelled out ‘I like your shirt!’ and he said, ‘Thanks!’"

After two-and-a-half hours, the band left the stage for good, and the Sara(h)s began preparing to leave. "It was hard, saying goodbye to our new friends, since we had all just experienced this together. But we exchanged emails and everything, so we kept in touch. In fact, Kathy and I have been to a few shows together in Austin. The day was just amazing, and getting to hang out with Sarah was a lot of fun. It was nice to have someone familiar around, since the concert was right in the middle of orientation week."

* * * * *

The first article Sara ever wrote for Southwestern University’s Megaphone detailed her experience at the REM concert. The impact of the day was made evident in her writing and in her storytelling. "I think it might have been one of my best days ever," she told me. "Getting to hang out with Sarah, meeting these new people, and seeing this band that I had been really into was awesome. The reason I am so proud of that day is because if you have something that you really want to do, you do it, and it’s good, you’re happy. I’m most happy because the concert exceeded my expectations so much. I loved the band–had all of the albums–but I was mostly going so that I could hang out with Sarah. The day was about perfect."

Sara will serve as entertainment editor of the Megaphone next year. She has recently decided to undertake an independent major about American Pop Culture, hoping that it will fuel her dreams. Once a simple obsession, music is in Sara’s future, and she is excited about that. Though some people will frown and belittle her response to "What do you want to do when you grow up?", Sara has steeled herself for an uncertain career, but a certain future with music in her life.

Well, we had to pick a classmate randomly, and I was lucky enough to draw someone I didn’t know, but someone who wasn’t too unbelievably frightening in Sara Gray. I was really unsure of what I was doing when we got together for our first interview. I didn’t really even have any questions to ask, so I just went in and we started a conversation. We were sitting in her living room, and I couldn’t help but notice the proliferation of music paraphernalia all over her apartment, so I started asking questions about music.

I am personally a huge music fanatic. I am constantly listening to music, singing music, or thinking about music. It seems like everything in my life revolves around music, and I was wondering if hers did, too. I mean, 4 different Dave Matthews posters, 2 Guy Forsyth posters, Clapton, Marley, Soulhat, and a slew of other items that are related to music adorn my apartment walls, so I saw a big similarity there. I started asking questions and started noticing that we had a lot of similar experiences and thoughts on music, and when Sara told me about her day with REM, I knew that I had the story.

We spent several hours talking about the details of the excursion, and then I started to get all of the background. I listened to Sara’s journey through music that also includes the Flaming Lips (affectionately referred to as the "Flips" on an accident) and Patti Smith. We talked about the posters and the concerts and the lock-ins, and I got a real sense of how important people and music are to Sara.

With our similarities in these areas, sitting down and writing the paper was easy. Well, writing the story was easy. I was really worried about capturing Sara’s voice. I didn’t feel that I was doing a good job, and I worried that I was getting quotes wrong, so I kept calling Sara and pestering her to repeat herself. I worried that she might think I had misrepresented her, but overall I think it turned out ok. For a second paper, I think it went quite well, and I am pleased with the result.