Kris Radusch

Bednar

Journalism

November 26, 2002

 

 

Coffeehouse Confession

³Well, I guess it started during my first year of the second grade, when I was eating lunch and caught my reflection in a spoon, and I thought to myself, 'Hey, Derek, you're ridiculously good looking! And I thought maybe I could do that for a career. Be professionally good looking.²


                                                                        -Zoolander 2001

 

 

The 2001 movie Zoolander brought to light the stereotypes that surround the modeling industry. Even thought the movie was a comedy it did address the stereotypes that plague the modeling industry because the characters of this movie are all portrayed as fake and superficial.

Those who see models as only a pretty face and nothing more devise many of the stereotypes that accompany the modeling industry.

 

***

A 16-year-old high school girl in College Station, Texas, always is missing her classes. She doesnıt mind, though, because she has bigger and better things to be doing than spending her prime years in a small town, with people she canıt relate to. She is different from them. She has a different view of what life is about and what she thinks she wants from it. Her life exists away from College Station. She did miss out on most of the activities of high school but it didnıt matter because she had what she wanted in the modeling life. The life she craves exists in the high society of the big cities of Milan, New York, and Paris. It exists on the runway, away from the small town that she has to call home.

³I think they resented me in high school. I was what they though to be out of their league. But oh well. I learned to take life with a grain of salt.² 

 

***

³In San AntonioŠ²

The Instant Messenger Away message read loud and clear. The interview would not take place. Trying to schedule a time to meet with Ashley is best described as a crap shoot. You may get lucky and hit but more often than not you crap out. Her ideology revolves around being spontaneous and living day by day.

³Kris, I have a tendency to over commit myself, and I donıt know if Iıll have time. Maybe next week, but I donıt know.²

Ashley will not let her life be run by a schedule. She is a spontaneous person that one minute might want coffee then the next want tea. That is the lifestyle she likes. The business is full of schedules telling her to do this or that and at what time. Ashley for many years was scheduling her life around modeling.  Schedules make things boring for her. Inherently without scheduling it is difficult for people to set up times for things around a person who doesnıt, but the first interview was scheduled.

 

 

***

The coffeehouse located on the edge of the University of Texas was located in a large two-story building. The entrance was hard to see due to the overwhelming amount of people walking around like ants on the sidewalk. Ashley said she would be reading here for a while and I could come by. The large stairs inside the building led to a lofted seating area with tables that butted up against a large window that framed the campus quite beautifully. After scanning the area she was not to be seen. I took a seat and waited longer. After 30 minutes my worst fears confronted me. I thought she probably changed her plans and didnıt tell me.  I believed I might be stuck in Austin at this trendy coffee shop drinking my iced hazelnut coffee by myself.

 

***

³Kris?²

³Ashley?² I look up and say to a six-foot tall brunette standing before me, eye to eye. She looks like a girl torn from the pages of Vogue or Cosmopolitan, yet she is holding a book for her literature class. Her glowing brown eyes look at me in confusion because we had not seen each other for 30 minutes because she was intensely reading a book in the corner and did not see me come in.  She is dressed in a trendy shirt and pants with her shoes matching. The light from the window catches her hair as she is about to sit down, and it radiates a rich dark brown giving her an aura of beauty. Even though she has just got done with classes on a Tuesday afternoon, she is made up with just enough makeup to accent her bold features of her face and enchanting eyes.

 My instincts had led me astray this time. It was just an accident that we were both waiting for so long, not due to her spontaneity. I did not know what to expect.

 

***

Most elements of Ashleyıs life are spontaneous, but in her spontaneity she is methodical in her decisions.

³What if someone wanted to go to the lake one day? ³Would you?² I asked.

³I do, do that, and love it. Spontaneity gives me freedom, and gives me something to look forward to because who knows what tomorrow brings, right?²

Ashley is spontaneous in most everything she does. If it means waking up one morning and driving her car to the lake to meet her friends, and go hang out, she would do that. Her spur of the moment attitude makes Ashley unique.

 

***

³Boyfriends are a hindrance.²  This 19-year-old girl knows that she is not ready for commitment of any sort. Commitment goes against her way of living. She is living by the moment now and relationships would get in the way. Ashley is not ready for a significant other in her life. She thinks dating after college would be good, but not now.

³The longest relationship I had was like two weeks, then he couldnıt take it that I wanted to do things on my own as well, so after that I decided not to date regularly.²

³They canıt deal with the way I want to not always be attached at the hip all the time.²

³The only relationships I make time for are my family, cause theyıll always be there for me, and I love them so much.²

Ashley would put family above everything. She puts it above school, boyfriends, friends and work. Her family is her strength in all aspects. She will go to either her mom or dad to talk about things that others would talk about with their friends first. Their relationship is very open and understanding. Her parents have supported her through all her choices and decisions. They want the best for their daughter.

³My parents have supported my whole modeling career, but they want me to have an education. They wouldnıt object to me just modeling but they still think an education is very important.²

This thirst for knowledge that Ashley has dispels many of the stereotypes of girls that are ignorant that permeate the modeling industry. She is an intelligent girl that has never made lower than a B in college. By utilizing both her beauty and her brains she gets what she wants out of life.

 

***

³Beauty is the only thing most of these girls will use to get things.²

³I think this is problematic because they are just using beauty and good looks and not their mind.² She takes a sip of her coffee and continues to talk.

³People canıt see beauty and brains in one person, and when they do these people become jealous.² 

She tells me that this is an industry based on vanity and beauty, and those two things equal money. Money and the lure of fame are the two biggest factors motivating girls to model. When there are agencies in an area that represent hundreds of aspiring models, one starts to wonder how much work can they get, and what extremes will they go to get work?

Girls that depend on their looks for everything expect things to be given to them. They want a certain way of life with things to be handed to them and when the get back to the real world, away from the modeling lifestyle, it is a rude awakening because they no longer receive the benefits of free things from the modeling lifestyle.

 

 

***

³Iıve seen how the industry takes over someoneıs life, oh yea. It happens all the time.² She says this with a firm tone.

Ashley has traveled a lot and been part of many different social scenes. She has seen first hand how a person gets used to the ³good-life² and wants things to be given to them because of their looks. She was once one of those people. But now the industry and her have begun to grow apart. At 19 she has changed her goals in life. I feel she is reluctant to tell an outsider how the industry really is because I believe she thinks I might judge her and her lifestyle.

³It is like a government in some respects because there are always people on the inside pulling the strings, and making all the calls about the future of these models. I hate how it has impacted me, but my feelings are different from many other models. Itıs the way one person handles so much.²

Ashley also shares the resentment as to how she handled her modeling career. She would have done things differently but those who have control over the girls set up things and she had no say in what she did. She had to accept it even though she didnıt like it. Overall her character and modeling did not mix because she wanted to do her own thing, and be her own person. Modeling all the time did not offer her this option.  She realized that she needed independence to be who she is as a person. Modeling all the time does not fit into her Œlive for the dayı credo. She once was that person who craved the high life and all the aspects that went with it but with time she changed, and matured to see what she really wants out of life. Ashley as a 19 year old college sophomore wants to have a normal life she never had because her commitment to modeling. She wants to go to school everyday, and be part of a crowd without having people treat her differently because of her job. It is a simple request that she is finally fulfilling by not letting modeling engulf her life all the time anymore, only part of the time.

 

***

Her commitment to modeling inevitably tore her away from the industry, but more so, away from the people that ran the show.

³It wasnıt abusive, but it was criticism. They wanted things from me that I would not do. I wouldnıt alter myself to grow with the industry. Not to say I didnıt take criticism but I didnıt go to drastic measures. I maintain myself. I wonıt let myself lose myself. I wonıt succumb or let myself to the other side.²

As the past is dug up it is revealed that this industry will go to extreme measure to have a model look perfect. She said she was ³recommended² for plastic surgery to alter something. Being a strong individual she did not take the so-called ³recommendation.² She is happy being who she is. As Ashley says, she keeps a balance in her life. She will not succumb, or do as those tell her in control of the industry because that goes against her character. She will not rebel either, as she would say ³letting herself lose her figure.² For example putting on weight to make a point and go against the agency is her rebelling because it goes against the norms of the shapely modeling industry. Ashley wouldnıt do that because she is a balancer.

 ³You know Kris, the people that stick with it, and itıs their life, donıt mind taking extremities. They are the unstable people. They are the personalities that are obsessive, abusive, and intense.²

Ashley is not one of these people. Ashley had a way out where some girls think they donıt. Her way out was her intelligence and hopes for normalcy. In the end she knows how to have balance in her life and maintain moderation.

 

***

Moderation is key in all aspects of her life. From work to play, moderation is what sets the tone.

³I guess you could say that my vices are spontaneous, but in moderation!²

³You donıt see me smoking now, do you?²

³I only do it when I feel like it, or others around me areŠ I can control myself pretty good.²

Parties, alcohol, drugs, smoking and things society consider to stigmatize the industry do exist in one way or another. They exist more because of easier access for models to get if they want them. These vices are most likely due to a culture of wealthy men giving impressionable young girls the opportunities to try these things. The wealthy men of this culture deem it necessary to lavish these models with whatever they want. It is a way of getting these beautiful girls to stay and make an appearance with them. It also makes these wealthy men feel better about themselves and it makes them look better to those who see these men. It is their way of getting attention with money.

Ashley parties to have a good time but is aware of herself, and knows her limitations. This is a girl that has been part of the wild side of the industry but has not buried herself in it to where she canıt get out. Her family has instilled in her strong morals and values that allow her to know right from wrong and not fall into the perils of the vices readily at hand to young female models with weak values and morals.

 

***

³I am a Christian.²

            Her religious beliefs are just as spontaneous as her life because she does not feel that one religion is right and she doesnıt go to just one church. Religion to Ashley is the beginning and the end. It comes up in her life a lot either because she will always stand up for her beliefs in God or because it is integrated into her day. God to Ashley will always be there for her, and she feels that she can pray whenever or wherever without constraints or limitations of certain churches.

Ashley is incredibly strong-willed for a young girl being exposed so many alternative lifestyles and social situations. She has not wavered from her beliefs.

Ashley is the antithesis of the stereotypical model. She dispels the presumptions people have about models, yet she doesnıt really realize it. She is just being herself, in all her passion for life and living for the day. Her life has been full of great events and memories that will last forever.

 

 

***

The figurative ants marching down the sidewalk has dwindled to a few passing by. The coffeehouse has become a hub for those looking to get that pick me up before they go and crack open the books. The time passed so quickly as we conversed, and it was much later than we imagined.

³Well, I have a class here in a little bit but I hope I helped. If you need anything else you have my number.²

 The pen ran dry and our time was over. I thanked her for spending this time with me and she politely accepted as she turned and walked around the blind corner, not knowing what lies ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afterward

 

 

I never thought I would get the chance to see her in person. Itıs hard to do interviews over the phone and computer. The time we met at the coffeehouse in Austin was the most helpful and engaging of the interviews. I wanted to focus on it because we spent about 4 or 5 hours just talking about things that are important to her and her work. It provided a relaxed atmosphere for just talking, like we were old friends catching up on a few years.

Ashley is a very intriguing person. She is lively and very into whatever is being discussed. The thing I found interesting is I donıt believe she sees herself as I see her after the interview. The way she leads her life is almost ideal for leading a good life. Further more I donıt think she knows how much she goes against the grain in modeling and stereotypes. Her beauty and height is a give away as to the modeling but as for the rest of her character she broke the mold for models. The only reason I can say this is because I have other friends that work in the industry and I have met people in it, and they seem susceptible to the vices it offers. Ashley is not.

In writing this piece I had a rough idea of where I was heading but I am pleased as to how it ended up. I did not intend for it to unfold this way, but it did and I think it works. I also did not intend on the coffeehouse theme, but it also ended up unfolding throughout the piece. One of the elements I thought added to her spontaneity was the use of quotes throughout and not really having a clear division. But this fits the way Ashley comes off. She has a lot on her mind and wants to express it, but due to her spontaneous nature her one task at hand might be put aside if something else comes up that she would rather do. In the end I enjoyed writing this paper the most. I want it to be a better story because it is about someone else that is allowing me a look into her life.

I think this paper has best reflected my writing style this semester. I like to make the audience think one thing in the beginning and lead them to see something else by the time they finish. My hope was for the reader to get the feeling of spontaneity throughout the paper by the way I structured it because our interviews were spontaneous. If I had the opportunity to make this into a film I think the audience could relate quite well since it was a paper based on something that is visual and rooted in beauty. In the end it was a pleasurable experience that allowed me to use all the tools from my previous papers, and roll it into one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published Sources

1.     www.pageparkes.com. 20 November 2002.

2.     Zoolander. 2001. Paramount Pictures.